


Nine Entire People's Piratesonas

by frogcorruption



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Copious Amounts Of Swearing, Jonny d'Ville and Nastya Rasputina are Siblings, Jonny is Southern now, Multi, Polyamorous Mechanisms (The Mechanisms), Texting, The Mechanisms-Typical Temporary Character Death, The Mechanisms-Typical Violence, big fan of polymech rights!!, not a single thought between the rest of them, the mechs share one brain cell and nastya has it at all times, this is my contribution to my "there should be more mechs gc fics" agenda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29985321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frogcorruption/pseuds/frogcorruption
Summary: captain crime: where the flying FUCk is my cowboy hat so help me dolly partonNastya: I am fairly certain it is in the kitchen.captain crime: hats off nasNastya: However, you should prepare yourself.captain crime: for what lmao?Nastya: The consequences of sending messages to the wrong chat.
Relationships: The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina, The Mechanisms Ensemble & The Mechanisms Ensemble, The Mechanisms Ensemble/The Mechanisms Ensemble
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	1. dolly parton and cowboy hats: life essentials according to a murder space pirate

**Author's Note:**

> There isn't any violence beyond what is canon typical, but CW for that and also lots of swearing.

**strip poker brokers (10 members)**

**captain crime:** where the flying FUCk is my cowboy hat so help me dolly parton

 **Nastya:** I am fairly certain it is in the kitchen.

 **captain crime:** hats off nas

 **Nastya:** However, you should prepare yourself.

 **captain crime:** for what lmao?

 **Nastya:** The consequences of sending messages to the wrong chat.

 **Braincell? Braincell Pls?:** There is a 90% chance Jonny will regret this.

 **you know ;):** you mean to tell me jonny's being holding out on us?

 **captain crime:** don't you say another fucking word ashes

 **iron man ripoff:** Jonny how could you keep this from us I thought we had something </3

 **you know ;):** ikr! it's like you don't even know some people these days

 **captain crime:** Where are you.

 **captain crime:** I _WILL_ find you and I _WILL_ kill you.

 **iron man ripoff:** this is why you're the first mate ://

 **you know ;):** a true captain would never do this to us

 **Nastya:** Oh, here he goes. When will you people learn.

 **captain crime:** for the last time, im the goddamn captain

 **powder tim gun:** Hmm... first mate

 **iron man ripoff:** I believe you are the first mate :)

 **12 worms in a trenchcoat:** first mate!!

 **Nastya:** First mate.

 **Braincell? Braincell Pls?:** There is a 100% chance Jonny is not the Captain. :)

 **pennywise kinnie:** I Am Not Sure What Is Happening But I Agree! First Mate!

 **Aurora_ShipID#6842:** _Internal_Message _Loading-100%:_ "First mate"

 **you know ;):** damn even the ship

 **pennywise kinnie:** Ashes I Do Not Know What My Chat Name Means

 **you know ;):** don't worry about it, ts

 **you know ;)** _has changed_ **captain crime** _to_ **First Bitch**

 **you know ;)** _has revoked the naming privileges of_ **First Bitch**

 **First Bitch:** literally fuck off ashes

 **First Bitch** _has left the chat_

 **Nastya:** Ah, the old bait and switch.

 **you know ;):** always works lmao

* * *

**strip poker brokers (9 members)**

**GOD:** Would someone like to explain why Jonny is currently causing a commotion outside my lab?

 **12 worms in a trenchcoat:** wasnt me i swear!! i was practicing violin :)

 **Braincell? Braincell Pls?:** We know, Marius. We know.

 **you know ;):** no idea

 **you know ;):** jonny probably got worked up abt smth lmao

 **you know ;):** who even knows what goes through that man's head

 **Nastya:** It was Ashes.

 **you know ;):** goddamit

 **GOD:** Ashes you have two minutes to come collect him before I use all of your petrol

 **you know ;):** jokes on you, I have it hidden lol

 **GOD:** It's in the closet by the Bridge

 **GOD:** You were saying?

 **you know ;):** nothing ma'am

 **you know ;):** will get on that immediately ma'am

 **iron man ripoff:** your power Raph? iconic... 

**12 worms in a trenchcoat:** ive never seen ashes get absolutely levelled so quickly before!! wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am american and very much not from the south so sorry to all my brits and southern people out there


	2. making fun of each other and other popular pastimes

**OG MECHS (2 members)**

**Nastya Rasputina** _has changed the group name from_ **OG MECHS** _to_ **Jonny You Done Fucked Up**

 **Jonny d'Ville:** count your goddamn days 

**Nastya Rasputina:** Ooh, shiver me timbers.

 **Nastya Rasputina:** I am quaking in my metaphorical boots.

* * *

**strip poker brokers (9 members)**

**powder tim gun:** is nobody going to mention that Jonny is apparently in other gc's? I thought we were his only friends

 **iron man ripoff:** we're his only friends? :00 what a surprise!

 **powder tim gun:** SAVAGE BRIAN IS BACK

 **you know ;):** fucking finally

 **you know ;):** yesterday someone (ivy) left him on nice brian and he offered to BAKE ME COOKIES

 **powder tim gun:** Terrifying

 **Braincell? Braincell Pls?:** I apologize. That is... truly frightening.

 **iron man ripoff:** ://

 **12 worms in a trenchcoat:** according to my notes from last year's psych evaluation, jonny is the least social out of all of us!!!

 **you know ;):** damn

 **you know ;):** even raph?

 **GOD:** Watch it, Ashes Arson O'Reilly.

 **iron man ripoff:** full name? :0 good luck 

**you know ;):** i believe this is what they call Fear

 **powder tim gun:** Raph's gonna kill them!

 **GOD:** They never learn, do they?

 **Nastya:** Never, my dear Raphaella.

 **12 worms in a trenchcoat:** you know, constant murder is really bad for your willpower!!

 **Braincell? Braincell Pls?:** There is an 85% chance you do not know what you're talking about, along with a 70% chance the psychology term you meant to use was "impulse control." Marius, if you are going to falsely claim you are a doctor, you might do some research beforehand.

 **powder tim gun:** LEVELLED

 **iron man ripoff:** rip Marius

 **GOD:** RIP

 **12 worms in a trenchcoat:** cannot believe i am resting in the pieces of my own flesh where ivy obliterated me

 **12 worms in a trenchcoat:** oh gods, what have i done to deserve such a tragic ending

 **powder tim gun:** you literally killed my octokitten

 **powder tim gun:** you fucking monster

 **iron man ripoff:** rip dread pirate robert(ie) </3

 **you know ;):** RIP he will be missed

 **12 worms in a trenchcoat:** ... 

**12 worms in a trenchcoat:** i have absolutely no idea what you are talking about tim!!

 **pennywise kinnie:** Nonsense Old Chap! I Watched You Kill Dread Pirate Robert(ie) The Octokitten Just A Fortnight Ago! You Looked As If You Were Having Jolly Good Fun!

 **12 worms in a trenchcoat:** oh look at the time! i simply must leave!!

 **powder tim gun** _has changed_ **12 worms in a trenchcoat** _to_ **Marius the Octokitten Murderer**

 **powder tim gun:** One day you will wake up and your five belts will be stuffed down your throat and threaded through your ears

* * *

**strip poker brokers (9 members)**

**iron man ripoff:** wait guys weren't we talking about smth else? are we forgetting something?? someone?? <]:)

 **you know ;):** who cares lmao

 **Nastya:** Nothing that comes to mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jonny's screaming into the void rn
> 
> also ashes' and raph's tension IS homoerotic thanks for asking


End file.
